Ask, don't tell

My habit has been to tell, to label, -- let's be honest: to nag.

"Edwina, you keep shouting out your thoughts. The rule is to raise your hand when you want to speak. I am tired of reminding you of this. You are on warning."

The result was always the same: dirty looks to match my dirty looks. Edwina might or might not answer back, but she would always complain about what a b**** I am.

WHEN I now remember instead to ASK, "Edwina, what are you doing? And what is our rule?" ... nine times out of ten, Edwina apologizes and self-corrects. ASTONISHING!!!

Or how about this, "Armando, I see you are choosing not to work today. That is not acceptable. Students who choose not to work may end up with Academic Detentions. Don't make me do that. Get to work."

Armando would typically respond by digging in his heels, daring me to follow through with my threat.

WHEN I now remember instead to ask, "Armando, what are you doing?" ... nine times out of ten, Armando slowly begins to work! AMAZING!!!

If after a few minutes Armando does not begin (or Edwina keeps shouting), I might need to add, "If you cannot work (cooperate) today, you can go next door. The choice is yours."

The really dazzling thing about the detour to another class is that the kids HATE to be detoured even though there are no additional punitive strings attached. No detentions, no referrals. Leaving their class and facing the rolled eyes of peers in the detour class is punishment enough.

This simple Raise Responsibility technique is transforming. It is still hard for me to remember, to change my nagging ways, but the jaw-dropping results are worth the effort.

Back on track!

Whole Brain Teaching

Introduced gestures to help the students remember the column titles of the organizer we use to prepare to write open responses. Remembered to have my odd students teach the evens, then switch. Remembered to let the kids know whether they were "keeping their dear teacher happy."

A hit! A hit! Increased participation, retention, and FUN!

I MUST remember this.

Raise Responsibility

Remembered to ask kids to "be a C student" today. Remembered to ask, "What are you doing?" in the face of misbehavior.

Tried a baby-step toward class meetings. Posted quote, "Success is determined by what you do when you don't know the answer," and began tossing a teddy bear around the room for student comment. High engagement, and some of the first "big" thinking I've seen from some of my cherubs.

Back on track!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

SuperSpeed teaches ... kindness

I set aside a little time at the end of class to play the SuperSpeed 1000 fluency game from Power/Whole Brain Teaching. My students work in pairs daily and know to turn to a neighbor.

Of course, someone is always absent, and I need to make adjustments. On this day, I scanned the empty seats, then asked Sammy and Johnny to work together. Sammy rebeled, shouting loudly, "Who? Johnny?! No way! I hate that kid; I'm not working with him!" By now I am down to my last five minutes of class. If the rest were to play, we needed to keep moving. No time for even a quick conference asking on what level this behavior was, etc.

Soooo -- I told Sammy he could go next door while we played. I swapped Johnny to another student, and I played with the odd man out.

Sammy sputtered. "No! Wait! Let me play with Tommy! No? Okay, okay; I'll play with Johnny. I want to play!"

It was beautiful.

Now, Sammy is one of the most charismatic kids on team. He is a bonafide leader. When he speaks, kids listen. Except for today. Everyone moved ahead and had a blast with the game, while he protested and fussed.

I met with Sammy later that day, one-on-one, after he'd cooled off. His temper flared when he remembered; "I really wanted to play!" I explained that my feelings are hurt easily, and if he had refused to play with me, I'd have gone home crying. I won't let kids say mean things to or about him, and I won't let him say mean things to or about anyone else. Now, no one would ever take on this kid. He is the definition of popularity. Would he be able to understand how his words hurt Johnny? I am happy to report ... yes, he could. He literally hung his head. We spoke a bit more. I agreed to try to avoid pairing him with Johnny, if he would agree not to complain about any partner in the future. We have a deal.

In the past, I might have issued a detention, then maybe a referral for his arguing and refusing to leave. This would never have helped him reflect on, own, and potentially change his behavior.

Thank you Chris Biffle for the game. Thank you Fay & Funk for logical consequences. Thank you Marvin Marshall for Raising Responsibility.

Next week -- I really, really, really intend to discuss KINDNESS in class meetings!

From "I hate this class" to "I was Level C today, Miss!" in 60 minutes flat

Sammy, a third-year student (in our two-year school) had a rough day. He was doing virtually no work, and, instead, was holding court among his many admirers. (Sammy happens to be a particulary charismatic middle school specimen.) Ultimately, he had to go next door. He did not go quietly. This is a departure from the book, where miscreants own their level B behavior and willingly slink away. Clearly, I am doing something wrong.

Next day, my proud young man boldy marched into class professing his loathing for school in general and my class in particular. I don't know what Marshall would have me say. I do know what I did say. "I love you too, Sammy; nice to have you here today. Thanks for coming. Have a seat, hon."

Well, if nothing else, his entrance reminded me to refer often to what level C/D behavior would look like as we moved through various activities. I remembered to ask students to reflect on their choices, and thanked those who chose the higher ground.

And Sammy? Sammy had a great day. He worked hard, and begged me to acknowledge that I'd observed level C (or D! I can't tell, can I?) behavior from him. Clearly, I am doing something right.

Thanks, Marshall!